Here’s a short excerpt from the book, Pick Your Battles: Relationships. How did the Pick Your Battles Method begin? This is the way!

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Imagine you’re on your honeymoon. You’re driving in Florence, Italy with your brand new, beloved spouse. The bells of the Duomo ring in the background. Buildings that are hundreds of years old rise up around the narrow streets you’re navigating. The sun is shining and casting shadows over the cafes and courtyards you’re driving by, en-route to your destination.

Now imagine that the GPS has just guided you down a one way street that’s blocked at the end by a street market.

You’re stuck.

Your spouse looks at you. You start to back up. A bike rolls up out of nowhere and you bump it.

No harm done, but some choice words are barked in your direction in hot-tempered Italian.

You’re sweating. Your spouse is still looking at you.

This is literally two days into your marriage.

Your spouse says the four fateful words no one ever wants to hear.

“What are you doing?”

Remember, you’re in Italy. It’s your honeymoon! You’re supposed to be relaxing, drinking wine, eating great food and topping everything off with a gelato. You’re supposed be buying winsome souvenirs in the street market that’s blocking your way. This is supposed to be like one of those romantic comedy montages, where two people are falling in love…except that you’re already in love and you’re already married…which means, well, this scene is more likely the start of an argument.

What are you doing? You’re stressed out, right? It’d be easy to snap right back: What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to get us out of this!

But do you really want to have an argument right now? In the romantic confines of Florence?

Does your spouse?

Be honest.

Is this a Battle you want to pick?

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